Throwaway Read online

  Throwaway

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Epilogue

  About the author:

  Throwaway

  by: Heather Huffman

  Smashwords Edition

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  Throwaway

  Copyright © 2010 Heather Bodendieck

  Cover Image Copyright © 2010 Emily Stoltz

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  * * * * *

  To Emily Stoltz & Erica Fitzgerald—God blessed me with two amazing sisters through blood and then two more when I met you. I would never have continued writing without your encouragement. This book is possible because of you. Thank you.

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  Chapter One

  It was the kind of gray day that made Jessie glad she didn’t have a regular nine-to-five job. She took one look at the overcast St. Louis sky and crawled back into bed. There might be no power on earth that could make her grateful for the job she had, but she could be glad for what it wasn’t.

  She had nearly dozed off again when there was a knock at the door. She reminded herself the roommate she’d been assigned was little more than a scared kid. That fact alone kept her from throwing something heavy at the door.

  “Give me five minutes and I’ll meet you downstairs,” Jessie called to the willowy brunette she knew would be on the other side before pulling herself out of bed with an exaggerated sigh. She stretched and padded barefoot to her bathroom, cringing a little at the sight of the rat’s nest in her platinum blonde hair. She gingerly worked a brush through it, trying to remember the color it had been. Before.

  Just like she did every morning, Jessie stared intently at her face in the mirror, searching for any signs of a wrinkle. Her baby doll face and large blue eyes made her look quite a bit younger than thirty-two, but the day when she couldn’t mask her age was creeping ever closer.

  That was a day she didn’t want to think about. Somehow she doubted Spence would put her out to pasture. That sounded much too pleasant.

  “Jess, are you ready? I’ll walk down with you,” Harmony called.

  “Sorry. Give me one more minute,” Jessie quickly changed for her daily workout. She knew Spence well enough to know that as long as he desired her, he’d keep her around. Her lithesome, leggy body was one card in her favor—even if she was ancient by street standards.

  “I made you a smoothie,” Harmony was waiting at the front door, holding a glass out.

  “Thanks,” Jessie took the offering with a smile. “How was class this morning?”

  “Fascinating,” Harmony lit up and instantly dove into a dissertation on the merits of studying quantum physics over just plain old mechanics. Jessie didn’t even try to keep up, she just smiled and nodded.

  Harmony was different than the rest of the girls. Even Spence saw that. She was there to pay for school and she’d move on when the time was right. For some reason, Spence would let her. Jessie believed him when he said he would.

  Not Jessie. She was a lifer. He’d made that much clear since the day he took her under his wing nearly fifteen years before. She pushed memories of before from her mind, gulping down the rest of her smoothie so she could beat an old lady to the last bicycle.

  Jessie pretended not to notice the dirty look she got in return. She’d made the mistake of deferring to age once and the woman had stayed on the bike for a full forty five-minutes. Not this time.

  Other than dodging the hate glares from the old lady, Jessie enjoyed her workout. There was something very cathartic about stretching her muscles to their very limits. The sweat, the pain, the test of endurance… they felt good. They cleared her mind.

  That evening, as she carefully applied her mascara before work, Harmony settled in on the countertop beside Jessie’s makeup bag.

  “Do you ever wish you’d gotten married and had kids?”

  “Not really,” Jessie answered without thinking. “What brought this on?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I just wonder sometimes if I’ll ever get to do those things,” Harmony seemed embarrassed by the admission.

  “I don’t think we’re missing much.”

  “Really?”

  “The way I see it, we have a husband. Sometimes we even have several husbands in the same night.”

  “I don’t think a john is quite the same.”

  “Have you heard how the suburbanites talk about their husbands?” Jessie routed through her bag for her favorite lipstick. “They count tiles on the ceiling. They make grocery lists in their heads. They think their husbands are too smelly, too fat, too predictable….”

  “You can’t write off the entire notion of love based on a couple of sexually frustrated moms in Bread Company.”

  “How do you know I’m talking about those women in Bread Co?”

  “I was with you, I heard their conversation, too,” Harmony reminded her.

  “I bet their husbands are about as nice to them as johns are to us,” Jessie got in one last barb before relenting. “But if anyone can find the one love story this world has left to offer, it’s you sweetie.”

  “I think this old world has one up its sleeve for you, too.”

  “Sure thing,” Jessie didn’t believe it for one second. She was the very definition of used goods. But arguing that with Harmony wasn’t going to accomplish anything beyond hurt feelings, so she let it go.

  They locked up and went to hop the Metrolink across the bridge. East St. Louis was much more tolerant of their livelihood than its neighbor to the west. It didn’t matter much to Jessie which side of the river she worked on. Her clients were happy to follow her across the Poplar Street Bridge and she liked staying out of jail.

  A sleek black car pulled up alongside them and the tinted window slid down. “Ladies, looking lovely as always.”

  “Hey Spence,” Jessie smiled saucily, wondering if there would ever be a day when her stoma
ch didn’t tighten just a little when she saw him. She learned a long time ago how to keep that feeling from showing.

  “Hey Spence,” Harmony’s eyes didn’t quite mask her own unease.

  “Join me for a minute, girls.”

  “You’re going to make us miss our ride,” Jessie didn’t like the look on his face.

  “I am your ride,” he motioned for them to join him again and this time they relented.

  “New car?” Jessie made conversation as she eased into the seat beside him.

  “You like it?”

  “It’s great.”

  “What’s up?” Harmony didn’t seem inclined to discuss Spence’s new Mercedes S600. Jessie preferred not to think how many nights she’d worked to buy the car they were sitting in.

  “You two get to be part of an experiment,” his eyes lit up as if they should be happy with his words.

  “How so?” Jessie was almost afraid to ask.

  “Downtown is coming to life again. I’d like you ladies to work this side of the river tonight.”

  “We’ll get picked up by the cops in five minutes. You know that.”

  “Don’t tell me what I know,” anger flashed across his face before being replaced with a beseeching expression. “Come on. You are my two classiest girls. If anyone can fly under the cops’ radar, it’s you. Just go hang out in a few bars tonight. Have a drink or two on me. Get a feel for it. Then we can talk about it tomorrow. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Jessie agreed hesitantly, her eyes meeting a pair of hazel eyes in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t like Spence to be reasonable. He must need something from them. Besides testing the waters west of the bridge, that is. If anyone would know, it would be Vance. As Spence’s guard, he’d be privy to what was really going on. If Jessie could get him alone, he’d probably tell her. Friends might be a strong word, but Vance and Jessie looked out for each other.

  “Sure Spence,” Harmony grudgingly agreed as well, following Jessie’s lead.

  “That’s my girls,” he planted a kiss on Jessie, his hand running up her leg. The car pulled into a garage on the riverfront.

  “Looks like our stop,” Harmony bolted out the door the second the car was parked.

  “See you tomorrow,” Jessie was right behind her.

  “You girls be careful. And have fun,” Spence thrust a wad of bills at Jessie before the car peeled out, leaving the two women to stare at each other incredulously.

  “What just happened?” Harmony was the first to speak.

  “I have no idea,” Jessie shook her head. “He’s up to something. He must want eyes on these streets for some reason. Let’s stay close to each other, eh?”

  “I’m okay with that.”

  “Tonight, we’re just a couple of girls out for girls’ night. We’ll go dancing, hit a few bars… and we’ll go from there tomorrow.”

  “Jessie?”

  “Yeah baby girl?”

  “I’m not twenty-one.”

  “Crap, I forgot. You are eighteen, right?”

  “Nineteen,” she seemed to stand up a little straighter.

  “Alright. Just stick close. But you’re not drinking—got it?”

  “Fine with me,” Harmony wrinkled her nose and Jessie was briefly overwhelmed by just how young her roommate was.

  With good enough legs and sufficient attitude, they didn’t have much problem getting passed the gorillas at the door at Club Aruba. Harmony drank orange juice; Jessie stuck with a light beer.

  Despite her concerns Spence was up to something that was going to land her in jail, Jessie had to admit she was looking forward to a night off. If not a night off, per se, at least a change of duties.

  She and Harmony alternated between dancing and hanging out in the lounge, neither seeing much of anything that should interest Spence. No cops, no competition, not even a thriving drug scene that particular night—which was a little surprising. Just a whole lot of drunken kids and desperate looking men. If the desperate looking men had any money, maybe they would interest Spence, but Jessie doubted they did.

  It didn’t take them long to be sick of Club Aruba. They wandered in and out of other bars. The Drunken Sailor held their interest for a while, but neither knew what they were supposed to be looking for.

  “Wanna try Memphis Blues?” Jessie suggested, not really sure why.

  “But Spence dropped us on the Landing.”

  “And we’ve been up and down it. Call it a hunch. It’s not that far.”

  “You don’t think Spence’ll be mad?”

  “If he is, it’ll be at me and he always gets over it.”

  “I don’t want him to hurt you, either.”

  “He won’t hurt me,” Jessie replied with more conviction than she felt. Sometimes when she had a night off—a real night off—she’d hang out at Memphis Blues. If she wasn’t at O’Malley’s, that is. It wasn’t too far from their apartment on Cherokee and they had a respectable beer selection and better music. There was something about a good blues or rockabilly beat that could massage away the tension in her body.

  “Jessie girl, you’re looking fine tonight,” the bartender greeted her with a broad grin.

  “Hey Chad,” she accepted the beer he extended to her. “What can I say, it’s girls’ night.”

  “What can I get you, kid?” he nodded to Harmony.

  “Ice water with a twist of lemon?” She looked like she’d had enough orange juice to last her for a while.

  “Sure thing,” he smiled a little and turned his attention back to Jessie. “Wow, really—you look amazing tonight.”

  “I clean up okay I guess,” Jessie tried to shrug off the attention. Maybe this was a bad idea. She usually came in wearing jeans and a t-shirt with her hair in a ponytail. Now that Chad realized she was a girl, she wouldn’t be able to hang out undisturbed. Oh well, she told herself, the damage was done. She might as well enjoy the music while she was here.

  “You like this stuff?” Harmony frowned a little, surveying the exposed brick and hardwood floors.

  “Love it,” Jessie tugged Harmony after her. “Let’s find a spot.”

  “I think the bartender likes you,” Harmony leaned into Jessie so she could be heard. “He’s still watching you.”

  “Chad? Yeah. I guess there’ll be no living with him after this.”

  “I don’t think he’s the only one watching you.”

  “Maybe they’re watching you.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure this guy is watching you. Not that I can blame him. Blues suit you.”

  “Not sure what to say to that….”

  “Wow. He’s really cute, Jessie.”

  Jessie allowed her eyes to follow Harmony’s towards the door. He actually was good looking; she grudgingly had to admit that much. It was more than the messy brown hair, angular jaw line, or muscles peaking through his shirt—but she couldn’t say just what it was.

  He seemed irritated by her presence, though. Not quite as enamored as Harmony would like to believe. She dismissed him with her gaze. “You’re imaging things, Harmony.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.”

  “Because he’s headed this way.”

  “The bathroom’s behind us.”

  “Oh,” Harmony didn’t seem convinced.

  “Hey,” the man in question nodded casually to them, coming to a stop beside Jessie.

  “Hey,” Harmony suppressed a giggle. Jessie nodded in response, swallowing hard. She had no idea what was wrong with her. Something about this person standing so near left her feeling very…unsettled. But it wasn’t the same kind of unsettled Spence made her feel. No, for some reason—she liked the odd electric current running through her.

  They were looking at her, like they expected a response.

  “I’m sorry…” she frowned and tried to clear her mind. “Were you speaking to me?”

  “I said, she’s good…the musician.”

  He was smiling at her. Jessie could see the hint of a dimpl
e hiding under his stubble. She closed her eyes briefly before answering.

  “Kim Massey—she’s great. I’d love to have her talent.”

  “Can I get you a beer?” he leaned in closer and she couldn’t help thinking that he smelled nice. He didn’t reek with cologne like Spence often did and he didn’t have the sweaty, nervous smell most of her clients carried with them. He smelled… clean… masculine.

  She held her beer up as if to say “I’m good,” because her voice box seemed to be failing her at the moment.

  He disappeared and she felt herself able to breathe for the first time in a while. She took the opportunity to gulp in some air, leaning against Harmony for support.

  “What is wrong with me?”

  “Haven’t you ever been attracted to a man before?” Harmony laughed then froze. “You haven’t, have you?”

  “Is that what this is? It feels more like a minor stroke.”

  “You have a crush,” a smile twitched at the corner of Harmony’s mouth.

  “What should I do?”

  “Flirt.”

  “I don’t think Spence would like it.”

  “Spence’ll never know. I didn’t say marry the guy. Just flirt a little.”

  “Really?” Jessie bit the corner of her lip in thought. The idea had merit.

  “What are you ladies talking about?” That dimple was back again.

  “You,” she blurted. Maybe the red lighting was playing tricks with her eyes, but it looked like a spark of amusement flickered across his face.

  “All good, I hope.”

  “Very,” Harmony supplied with a smile before becoming interested in a group of young men across the bar.

  “Minx,” Jessie muttered as her roommate sashayed across the room. The man laughed and the sound washed over Jessie like a warm bath.

  “Do you have a name?”

  “Jessie. How about you?”

  “Gabe,” he answered after a brief pause.

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” There was that laugh again. Jessie wanted to bask in it; she found herself smiling back at him.