Ties That Bind Read online

  “Jessica, breathe honey. Let me take over,” Liz placed a calming hand on Jessica’s shoulder. “Apparently Gavin sometimes fills in for a buddy of his, who is the lead in an Irish punk band. Go figure.”

  “And he’s playing here tonight?” Kate surmised.

  “Pretty much, yeah.” Liz nodded.

  “Pretty much?”

  “Okay, just yeah.”

  “Okay,” Kate took a deep breath and looked at Gaston as if he would have some answer to her dilemma.

  “You can’t avoid him forever, Katie. He’s part of your world now. Suck it up and get inside.” He nudged her towards the door.

  “Not what I was looking for,” she pouted, but obediently pulled out her money to pay. “Alright, let’s do this.”

  “Oh thank goodness. Ryan and Derrick refused to leave. They really like Gavin,” Jessica breathed a sigh of relief. She hated conflict.

  “Awesome. He’s really good, you know,” Liz clapped and led them to the rest of the little group.

  As much as Kate didn’t want to admit it, he actually was very good. His voice was soothing if not clearly intelligible. It was a little reminiscent of the tender crooning he’d done when she was crying. And there was something undeniably sexy about a man on stage singing.

  At first she was able to watch him unnoticed. He was busy, the girls had gone to dance with their boyfriends and Gaston had gone to get them cocktails. So she was free to drink in the sight of him. And then their eyes locked. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. A flush heated Kate’s face. The band moved into a livelier number and Kate welcomed the opportunity to whisk Gaston onto the dance floor.

  Dancing with her best friend from a time when she was a much freer spirit, it was almost possible to forget that it was Gavin singing words of love, yearning and redemption on that stage. Almost. When she closed her eyes, the music would pour over her and nearly carry her away. It was exquisite bliss.

  “We’ve got time for one more,” his accent seemed thicker now. Was it for show or from exertion? “So I’d like to dedicate this next song to an old friend of mine who thinks I don’t know enough classics.”

  Kate froze. Somehow she didn’t think he meant long-time friend when he said old. Classics? What was he about to do? He ducked his head, but not quickly enough to hide the smile. The opening guitar riff was instantly recognizable, even with the somewhat folksier feel it had been given. Kate sank into a nearby chair, completely transfixed on the man whose eyes were now looking into hers. Her heart twisted as he played an Aerosmith song that would have been a much more acceptable answer that day in the canoe. Only it was more than that now. She knew he was telling her everything she wouldn’t allow him to say.

  He was tired of the walls. He’d suffered. He wanted her to save him. She was his Angel. It was one of those moments that seem to last an eternity. She wanted to run away. She was completely rooted to her spot. All of the what-ifs wound around the never-to-bes and both got twisted up with the words he sang. Her breath started to come more quickly.

  Was that pain her heart breaking again or just another panic attack? Either way, the safest course of action seemed to be flight. Just as Gavin hit the last chord, she was out the door. She’d go back later to tell them where she was. For now, she just needed some fresh air. She ignored the looks she got when she burst through the front doors, instead finding a spot to lean against the wall and take in great gulps of night air.

  She didn’t get the chance to find equilibrium since he was there right behind her. Her muddled brain wondered if he’d darted off the stage as he placed an arm firmly on either side of her. He’d effectively trapped her but that didn’t seem to be enough torture because he was leaning into her as well, pressing his body against hers and keeping his head within a breath of hers.

  “That’s not the reaction I was hoping for,” he grinned.

  “You should be used to that by now,” she suppressed a small grin of her own.

  “Should I have played Crying instead? Or maybe Crazy. Both would have fit pretty well.”

  “You’re not helping your cause by calling me crazy,” Kate pointed out.

  “True,” he acknowledged. “But it’s fun to watch you heat up.”

  “Are you going to let me off of this wall?” Kate tilted her head to look up at him.

  “In a minute, I have something to say first.”

  “Then say it,” she tried to wriggle free but only succeeded in making herself more keenly aware of his proximity so she held really still.

  “Your mom changed her name. It used to be Danielle Williams. That’s why Jack doesn’t recognize your last name.”

  “Thank you,” Kate closed her eyes briefly and leaned her head against him for a moment.

  “I want to gather you in my arms and tell you that time is up. I want to whisk you back to my loft and tell you no more space between us,” he growled, catching her chin with his hand and tilting her face up so his lips could claim hers. There was a need that seemed newer, fresher, edgier than it had been before. She almost wondered if he would do just that – whisk her home and declare an end to her time and space. But he didn’t. As usual, just when she was completely and thoroughly his to do with as he pleased, he pulled away.

  “Now isn’t the time for that, though,” he said with great effort. “I have to leave for a bit, next week.”

  “Excuse me?” Kate stiffened in an instant.

  “I’m going back to London for a while. I can’t really say for sure how long I’ll be gone…” he seemed to be choosing his words carefully. Had Kate been in a more stable frame of mind, she might have heard the pain etched in his voice. As it was, she trembled with fury – or was it fear? He was leaving her. Before he could finish his explanation, and before she could embarrass herself further by crying in front of him yet again or begging him to stay, she stomped his toe with all the force she could muster and used his reaction as her window of escape. When she was safely in a cab on her way home, she called Gaston to let him know why she’d bailed out on him. She’d feel worse about it but was certain he could find better entertainment for the evening anyway.

  Kate spent the rest of her holiday weekend holed up in her apartment. After a day of being nearly-catatonic, she began to play the violin. It was a mournful sound full of pain—but it was beautiful music nonetheless and it flowed through her as if it had a life of its own. Kate found some amount of solace in that. By Sunday evening, she was starting to scare the drivers that delivered her sustenance. When Monday rolled around, she forced herself to shower and put on makeup. She would not allow Gavin to see her looking like this.

  Their little office was morosely quiet that morning. If Jack questioned the stony silence, he didn’t do so aloud.

  “Kate, maybe if you’d let Gavin explain why he’s leaving,” Liz ventured the suggestion after several hours of silence.

  “I’m done with this lunacy,” Gavin growled. “I’m not explaining anything… and neither are you.”

  With that decree, he stormed out of the office leaving three startled women in his wake.

  “Liz, I’m so sorry. I don’t like that he’s taking this out on you. I’m so sorry,” Kate blinked back tears. What was her problem lately?

  “No big deal,” Liz shook her head firmly. “He didn’t mean it.” With that, she put her ear buds in and went back to the page she was laying out.

  “Hey, I’m on my way to have lunch with last year’s marathon winner. We’re following his story for this year’s race. He’s a fascinating guy – you should come,” Jessica offered.

  “You know what? I think I will,” Kate agreed quickly. Anything to get her out of there.

  It wasn’t far to the café so they walked. Kate found she was immensely grateful for Jessica’s calming personality. Kate was pleasantly surprised when Justin from the Chronicle stopped by their table to say hi and asked her if she was free for coffee in the next week.

  Jessica had been right, Tom was a fascina
ting man. He worked in IT, one of the companies to survive when the tech bubble burst. He’d been a marathoner for several years.

  “The first marathon I ever ran was in Memphis. It was kind of funny and scary when I realized I would be running the next day longer than it was taking me to get there.” He leaned forward, his eyes lighting up at the memory.

  “It was cold that morning, colder than most years – 29 degrees – but that didn’t really concern me much because it wasn’t raining or anything and I knew that a few miles into it I would warm up. I felt great right from the start. Of course, that ended up being part of the problem. I actually ran my best 10K and then Half Marathon time ever. It is funny—everyone I asked for advice told me, ‘Don’t go out too fast’ but that is exactly what I did.” He chuckled. Kate found herself riveted by his story. The idea of running for pleasure was completely foreign to her. She much preferred her morning yoga routines.

  “The thing is,” he continued, “at the time I didn’t feel like I was going out too fast because it was pretty easy. I was well rested and ready to go and had hit that pace a lot in training. But then at about mile 15 ½, it became hard to hold that pace and at 18 it became brutal. Miles 20 on were pretty miserable, to be honest. I kept telling myself ‘Just go another half mile and then you can rest for a minute.’ I had a blast for the first 16, but everything after that was not fun. It didn’t feel like a race, more like survival. When I was done I was so happy it was over, it was almost more relief than joy.”

  “I can’t even imagine doing that,” Jessica shook her head. “It’s amazing.”

  “I’m impressed,” Kate agreed. “The discipline that must take….”

  “Yeah, well,” he blushed. “I remember in the last five miles that this strange silence came over me – even though every mile there were these annoyingly loud bad bands playing. I went to this quiet place inside my head that just said ‘keep going.’”

  Kate felt like she could relate to that. Gavin was nearly gone, she could focus on work and Jack again. She needed to find the quiet place inside her own head. Just keep going.

  “Oh, and the soreness for about six days was something else…. Stairs felt like Mt. Everest,” Tom added with another smile. Kate and Jessica both winced a little. They could only imagine what that must have been like.

  Kate walked away from the lunch thinking she would pay attention to the outcome of this year’s marathon for a change – and she’d root for Tom to win again.

  Chapter Nine

  That quiet place in her head that urged her to just keep going did the trick. The day came when Gavin got on a plane for London and she could breathe again. Well, after spending the morning sobbing she could breathe again. She’d even met Justin—the reporter from the Chronicle—for the coffee she’d promised and made a lunch date with Alicia, a D.J. from the adult alternative station in town. She’d intended to work late that first day, but the longer she stayed, the more agitated Liz got.

  “You really should go home now,” Liz finally threw her hands up in the air, exasperated for some reason Kate could not fathom.

  “But I wanted to get a little more done. The wedding is right around the corner,” Kate frowned, leaving off the fact that she didn’t want to go home to a ridiculously silent apartment yet again.

  “You might need to go just to keep Liz from hyperventilating. I think she’s worried about you spending too much time here,” Jessica intervened. “Why don’t Ryan and I swing by for dinner later?”

  “Okay,” Kate hesitantly agreed, a little confused. They rose to leave when she did. She looked from one to the other and they sat back down quickly. Kate narrowed her eyes. Might as well go home and see what they were up to.

  She heard it as soon as she got off the elevator on her floor. Surely they hadn’t. This was worse than the supperclub incident. Oh no, surely not.

  She opened her door to stare at a crate in complete disbelief. It wasn’t the crate so much as what was inside that bothered her. The animal let out another plaintive yip as she closed the door behind her. Why had anyone thought this was a good idea? She approached the cage to snatch the envelope off the top.

  “Dearest Kate,” the note read. “I was wondering if you could do me a favor and take care of this little guy for me. I’ve already paid your pet deposit and the pet rent for the remainder of your lease. His food is in the kitchen, along with the leash and some toys. He’s just a pup – ten months – and really needed a home. I thought of you. Hope you don’t mind. Love, Gavin.”

  Hope you don’t mind? Who does this sort of thing? Kate eyed the beast warily. He put his massive head down on massive paws and sighed heavily, looking back at her with soulful eyes. She supposed he would need to go for a walk. She could do that much while she decided what to do with him. She retrieved the leash, setting aside the scary looking collar that was attached to it. Surely she wouldn’t need that.

  As soon as she opened the cage, he exploded from it. Kate somehow managed to snap the leash into place as he jumped and twirled around what now seemed to be a small apartment. As soon as the lead was attached, he took off for the door, pulling her along like a rag doll.

  “Alright, hold up.” Kate dropped the leash and went back to the kitchen to retrieve the training collar. Maybe it was a good idea after all.

  The beast practically quivered with anticipation as Kate put the collar on him and transferred the leash over. Kate noticed the shiny tags hanging from his collar and read the one shaped like a bone. “Tyler. So, he thinks he’s funny, eh? Fine, he can name you Tyler but I’ll call you Ty for short.”

  The dog looked at her impatiently. She shoved a plastic bag in her pocket and they were off. With the training collar in place, Ty was a perfect gentleman. After all business was taken care of, she decided it wouldn’t hurt either of them to wander around a bit more. He was a cute dog. Huge, but cute.

  He was yellow with white paws and a white muzzle. His ears hung forward in little triangles but perked up when he found something interesting. His long tail happily thumped her in the leg when they waited to cross the street. His friendly, inquisitive nature completely won her over by the end of the walk and she knew Gavin had won this one. Why on earth had he done it, though?

  That question was the very first thing she asked when Jessica and Liz showed up on her doorstep that evening with Ryan and Derrick in tow.

  “He said dogs are amazing healers of the soul,” Jessica made a face that plainly said “Isn’t that the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard?”

  “Who does that?” Kate wondered for the third time that night.

  “I know, isn’t he so sweet?” Liz smacked her fiancé on the arm as she asked the question. Kate ducked her head to hide the grin.

  Ty followed her everywhere. He was her shadow already. There was something very comforting about it. He got a little pushy when the pizza was delivered, but backed off at Kate’s stern reproach. His perpetual smile made it hard to stay angry at him. Or perhaps it was more a well-timed smile, like Gavin. The thought of him made her heart twinge and she wondered how long it would be until it got easier.

  “Why did he leave?” She asked very suddenly, her fingers absentmindedly scratching Ty’s ears. Liz and Jessica exchanged meaningful looks.

  “This is crazy. He said you couldn’t tell her. He didn’t say a thing to me,” Jessica declared. Liz shrugged at that logic. Jessica took that as her cue to go on. “His mom has breast cancer. She’s having a mastectomy in two days. He went to be with her. He was planning on coming back once he knew she was better. Jack gave him leave of absence.”

  How had she not known this? Because she hadn’t given him the chance to explain. She’d been so wrapped up in her own pain it made her oblivious to his. And now he was gone, facing this big scary disease with his mother.

  That brought the memories of her mom, eaten from within by bone cancer, boiling to the surface. Watching her caregiver so helpless had been hell. And it had been terrifying, too. To
be so out of control, so at the whim of something other than her own will. Those memories were the ones that haunted her dreams and tainted her waking actions. She had to really concentrate to conjure the sound of her mother’s voice or to remember the smell of the rose lotion her mother always used. The memories she wanted to cling to were fading so fast.

  Part of Kate wanted to be sick. She knew she didn’t have any tears left to cry – she’d used those up on Gavin. Instead calm settled over her. Her eyes lifted to look around the room.

  “Who can dog-sit Ty for me?”

  “Already?” Liz grinned, pretty sure she knew where Kate was headed. “I can do it. Ty and I will have a grand ole’ time messing up your place.”

  “I’ll take my chances.”

  “Are you?” Jessica brightened.

  “Yeah, I’ll talk to Jack tomorrow about getting a few days off. I think I’m needed in London,” Kate decided, ignoring the triumphant look Jessica and Liz exchanged.

  The guys turned on a game while the girls helped Kate pack. Ty kept pulling her things out of the suitcase and running through the house with them. It was kind of cute the first time. Really irritating the fifteenth. With her friends gone home and her flight booked, Kate walked Ty one last time and climbed in to bed. She didn’t expect to go to sleep any time soon thanks to nerves. But then Ty stretched out beside her, tucking his head by her arm. There was something very soothing about that.

  The next thing Kate knew, Ty was bathing her face in kisses. It was morning. This walk was less fun. Her hair was a wreck and she was in jeans and pajama top without a bra. Too bad his bladder wouldn’t wait for her to get a shower and grab a cup of coffee. She called Jack when she got back to the apartment.

  “I was wondering if I could take a few days off,” she’d begun hesitantly. “I’ll stay in touch through email, though, and I promise I won’t let the party or the wedding get behind.”

  “Jessica and Liz were in my office first thing this morning.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Take all the time you need. Well, as long as you’re back by the next meeting with the Bubble Lounge anyway.”